Finding my Flow

Participating in the Oprah and Deepak 21-Day Meditation Experience is taking me to another level, but there are challenges around every turn.  I have made it a habit to meditate twice a day. There have even been some days that I was able to get in three meditation sessions.  At the conclusion of each session, I either fall asleep if it’s at night or during the day, I feel a sense of otherworldliness that I can’t adequately put into words. It would be an amazing feeling to exist in this spiritual space for longer periods of time, but because we live in a physical world, that desire is an impossible feat.  Existing on another plane of consciousness would hinder my effectiveness, but visiting this space increases my efficacy. Life is a balancing act.

Getting back to the challenges I mentioned…it seems like whatever the mantra or guiding principle for the day happens to be, there is a situation to snuff out the “inner work” that had just been done. For example, yesterday’s mantra was about power. I felt powerful; moreover, bible study confirmed and reaffirmed my authority in the Kingdom. I felt like I could do anything. The exciting part was that I felt like I could do anything for not only myself, but also for others to bring healing and progression.  Then the challenge reared its head to make me feel powerless.  

Er…let’s go back to our friends Mr. Giraffe and Miss Tree. Since we last saw her, Miss Tree was lamenting about her mother’s unintended insensitivity.  Recently, she has met a giraffe named Gary who is everything she had hoped she’d find. They have been communicating regularly which is creating the perfect atmosphere for them to develop a wonderful friendship as a foundation for more. He even brought up the fact that he’d like a constant tree and that Miss Tree was a perfect fit with her sweet leaves and vibrant personality.  Then the wrench:  While there were many things that they both agreed upon as it pertained to their future, there were a couple of issues that arose that seemed to be non-negotiable on his part. So, that left Miss Tree feeling…powerless. Miss Tree once again contemplated adjusting her desires and dreams to align them with Mr. Gary Giraffe. Ugh!

Poor Miss Tree! What exactly is she to do? My advice to her is to live in the moment, continue to release her dreams, desires, and most importantly, gratitude into the Universe leaving it in God’s hands, and enjoy all of the fruits from her commitment to building up her spirit! Sometimes, taking a step back to assess the situation gives a fresh perspective and fuels us with power within to keep pressing forward.  David Ji from the Chopra Meditation Center said something during a guided meditation that has stuck with me and shifted my focus. He said, “Breath in uncertainty, and breath out certain pain.”  There is quite a big difference in “uncertainty” and expecting “certain pain.”  Uncertainty does not have to be bad at all. It only means that we do not know everything that will happen.  The problem comes when we think we know everything that will happen and suspect that it will turn out for the worse. Stop that! Uncertainty means that there are great things that will happen and you (and I) will be able to experience them when the time comes. So, I wait with expectancy while enjoying the “now.” Miss Tree, enjoy Mr. Gary Giraffe because if it is meant for you two to be more than “passersbys,” you will have a shared destiny that won’t have a hint of contradiction. Harmony will be ever-present.

Model: KJ   Photo Credit: Marley Ross

It’s not too late to start the Oprah and Deepak 21-Day Meditation Experience. I would suggest if you would like your life to change for the better, you give it a try. You will not regret taking that time for yourself, getting closer to the self you were created to be. You'll feel reinvigorated and passions will be reignited!  Despite the challenges I may face on this journey, I know I have all of the force to overcome them, by my spirit and the Spirit!

https://chopracentermeditation.com/experience

Mommy Guilt and Other Weeds That Grow in My Happiness Garden

What happens when people continue to dip water out of a bucket without refilling it?  That’s right! The bucket will be empty.  And, what needs to happen for the bucket to be useful for dipping again? You guessed it! It needs to be refilled.  Last question, what should the bucket do if there is a line of dippers waiting and no one to refill it? Any suggestions? I’m that bucket and I feel like hiding, but what good will that do?  People and my book are tugging at me from all directions and my energy reserves are quite low. Dare I say, depleted? 

Illustration by Amanda Gia 2014

Then there is the flip side of people depending on me.  I had begun to depend on someone else, but ended up on the ground.  I’m reminded of Matthew 10:22 that states, "You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.” Sometimes standing firm is very uncomfortable and once again my energy gets zapped.  It’s similar to a charge and block in basketball. Sometimes when you stand firm, the ref will call charging on your opponent. Other times, depending on the ref and the day, you’ll get the call on you for blocking. But, I know that the firmer you stand the more likely the call will be on your opponent, so I say all of that to say, either way, you end up on the ground! (I’m chuckling.)

Then there is the mommy guilt that permeates my daily life. I have a calendar book and my virtual calendar. Even with both of these lists, I make mistakes. Can mommies make mistakes? I don’t think we can without coming under scrutiny of not being perfect. On top of that, Mommies carry the weight of their children’s shortcomings upon their already loaded down shoulders.  So as you can tell, I’ve had about enough of everything. And, as I write this post I just received a call requesting yet more from my bucket. What to do?

My plan is to plan. I’m going to plan a vacation for me, myself, and I. I’m going to drive to the beach one afternoon with only my beach chair, a book, my headphones, and my IPhone.  I’m going to sit and get refilled by the Universe. I’m going to let the light of the sun energize and recharge me. But, most of all I’m going to allow the beauty of God’s creation to overtake me in a way that my cup will run over with goodness and mercy and all the energy I’ll need to carry out another few weeks (probably days). So, the plan is to look forward to a time of respite. Of course, I could edit my book while I’m sitting out there, but I’d rather not…I think?

Salty Wounds

I’m trying my hand at developing a strip, comic and otherwise. The saga continues with Miss Tree. She had to be reminded of her lack of a giraffe by none other than Momma Tree.   Momma Tree means no harm, but salt is poured into the wounds nonetheless.   Miss Tree is resilient.  As this story will hopefully play out, she will learn that if she accepts the wrong giraffe, she will not have any leaves left for the giraffe prepared especially for her.  At least that is what she reminds herself as she waits patiently with her branches swaying in the breeze.

In other news, the editing of my book has hit a small snag: I don’t have any time! I’m about five chapters in and have about 18 more to go. I must say that the story line is consistent, and I have not run into any major contradictions.  My character web looks like a mangled mess, but the character relationships overlap nicely, and my main characters are clearly defined as well as discernible.  I just want to make sure that there is adequate rise and fall throughout the book which has become the most time consuming part of my editing process. I may be second guessing my initial choices too much, but only time will tell. 

Another hurdle in completing the editing of my manuscript is the fact that as I read along, I have a mental flood of concepts for my next books.  I know what I would like the characters to accomplish and experience next in their lives.   I usually have to stop and take notes as the ideas break through into my consciousness.  On top of the inspiration I get from the manuscript, I have daily occurrences that just need to be shared…through my characters of course.  I find that one never can expect what will happen in this life.  The human experience is one that is learned while it is lived.  I learned something very new today or maybe it is old, but repackaged either because of time or because of my own level of maturity. I just heard on a prayer call (http://www.theprayercall.org/) yesterday that at times, we pray for things in faith and when we look around,  it looks as if the direct opposite occurs. So, I learned today that no matter how antithetical a situation may become, God’s hand will either fix what’s broken or give a completely different model. Not profound in the least, but exactly what I need to hold fast to in order to get the salt out of my wounds, whether the salt was poured by loved ones or ones that I had hoped to love.