TMI

Be careful when you pose a question. You may just get an answer you were not expecting. I found myself regretting asking a question yesterday because the answer, albeit raw and uncut, singed my eyebrows off. All I could do was laugh. The gentleman thought I was laughing at his detailed answer, yet the truth was that I was laughing at the fact that he felt comfortable enough to disclose such personal and embarrassing information about himself to me. 

Without going into particulars, let’s use some analogies, shall we?  Let’s pretend that a tree asks a depressed giraffe why he’s so depressed. 

And, this down in the dumps giraffe responds “My old feeding tree hurt my feelings. That tree was perfect. She was beautiful, quite tasty, and had a lot going for her, but because I put her on a pedestal I lost my own self-worth and instead of her nourishing me, I fed her with my kindness.”  

Miss Tree, seeing a wonderful giraffe before her, pondered ways to encourage him to try to eat again.  She continued, “well, I have tasty leaves and I’d like to explore my being your new feeding tree.” 

Mr. Giraffe lifted up his eyes on his hung down head to look up at Miss Tree. “Why me?” he asked surprised that Miss Tree would want to give him a chance.

Miss Tree was not expecting that response, but obliged and said, “Mr. Giraffe, you appear to be a perfectly wonderful giraffe, and I know that I have sweet leaves that will nourish you. Why not you?”  Mr. Giraffe dropped his eyes again. Miss Tree grew concerned about what that other tree had done to break the spirit of this seemingly perfectly normal giraffe.  She hesitated to ask, but curiosity overtook her, “What did that other tree do to you?” she asked disgusted at Mr. Giraffe’s state.

The flood gates opened and Mr. Giraffe rattled off his very personal story, detailing the mistreatment and agony cause by that retched old tree.  At that moment, Miss Tree regretted asking the question.  Why hadn’t she just let the giraffe deal with his issues on his own. Now she knew the details of the past which clouded her future a bit.

When too much information comes your way, what should you do?  Hopefully, you’ll handle it better than I did. Should I be flattered that there was enough comfort and trust present for him to open up to me?  Should I be alarmed about his willingness to tell me everything? I understand transparency, but are you being transparent for the sake of transparency or are you trying to talk me out of...ahem…being your new feeding tree?  I was quick to inform this gentleman that I will be using this encounter in a future book. I told him that I could see how the scene would play out with the varying perspectives present:  how the “old tree” had moved on not even thinking about "Mr. Giraffe," while he was talking to the "Miss Tree" about her and her foolish ways.

A self-portrait taken serendipitously. Photo: Amanda Gia 2014

My next book is taking shape before my last book’s editing is even complete.  I must tap into my creative energies while they are overflowing! Take a look at the photograph above.  My creativity is on autopilot and just using me as a conduit for expression. So, I guess he did me a huge favor by divulging too much information. Life’s experiences are going to prove profitable to me very soon. I have become very adroit at creatively utilizing the experiences that used to drive me crazy. If these things are going to happen to me, I guess I’ll just have to put them to good use.

March Madness

While the world is looking at college athletes battle it out for bragging rights, athletic program donations, and hopefully a future in the NBA, I am in the daunting process of editing my novel. The timing could not be more perfect because I will use basketball as my inspiration. These astute student athletes have played their whole lives for this moment. They have spent countless hours in the gym, on the court, and in the mirror encouraging themselves to ascend to this elite level of competition. These teams have to endure tight schedules, screaming fans—some positive, others very negative-- and sometimes berating coaches.  I have had to endure some of the same life honing experiences to get me to this point where my book is finally completed.   I have to fine tune my book and get ready to share it with the world. These athletes have gotten their game to the point where they have won championships and between each win in the next few weeks, they will have to edit, reflect, and change to keep leveling up.  I totally understand what they are going through from an intellectual standpoint. On the other hand, I cannot relate to the actual stress and strain on their physical bodies!

Then, there is the other side of all the madness. I have always felt the deep pangs of defeat in each tear of the players on the  losing team.  We forget that these players are just kids aged between 18 to 22 give or take a year.   We look at them as if they were machines by making brackets and placing bets. The pressure is real and I would not want to be in their position, but then again I guess I’m setting myself up to do just that. Let’s say my book is a hit. That means I will be expected to produce an even better book the next time and so on. I will let people down if I don’t deliver a quality product—a win if you will. I will be that machine that needs to output quality manuscripts. No matter how exceptional the idea, I’ll have to breathe life into it to create a book that will touch lives in a way that investors will appreciate. Am I up for the challenge? Of course. I know that God hasn’t brought me this far to leave me. In the same way, each young man and woman who will play their hearts out on the court during these highly competitive games are exactly where they are supposed to be at this moment in time. I pray they seize the opportunity to milk it for all its worth. Showcase talent! Make memories! Leave a mark! I’m up for the challenge and I know they are as well. 

Shh…I’m reading Deepak Chopra

I thought it would be a good idea to pause my reading of Connect during my trip to the beach. I wanted something a little less business related and something more introspective. So, I decided to finally read The Essential Ageless Body,Timeless Mind: The Essence of the Quantum Alternative to Growing Old by Deepak Chopra.  I did not know exactly what I was getting myself into, but dived in and read as fast as I could while my son was in the pool.  Between “look mom” and “did you see that mom” I read half of the book.  Immediately, my view of myself in relation to everything around me changed.  Coupling everything I was absorbing from the book with my knowledge (and belief) of the Bible, I tapped into a fountain of endless possibilities. By endless possibilities I mean that I felt a shift from the finite to the infinite.  I mentally eradicated lines of definition and demarcation.  I will not be old.  I will not let society define me. Just because it is allergy season, does not mean that I have to sneeze! Such a simple concept to grasp, but we miss it every day.

As I write this, I am taking deep breaths listening to each one.  I am endeavoring to work on my coping skills in dealing with stress. While I was away, I woke up early to watch the sunrise (pictured above), something I had not taken the time to experience before in my life. I and the sun were one. I felt energized.  I felt like I was part of something greater than just my own little personal existence. I already knew I had a purpose, and currently,  I am smack dab in the middle of figuring it all out, but my purpose is much greater than I could have ever imagined. The journey has just begun, and there is no end in sight because my spirit is eternal. My impact will be felt throughout eternity.  The effects of me fulfilling my purpose will be as widespread as the ocean.