Turn a Summer Fling into a Lasting Thing!

                          

Like I've written before, it is amazingly easy to meet new people in the summer. Everyone is traveling, and you can strike up conversation with complete strangers on a plane or in an out-of-town restaurant. Furthermore, there is a carefree attitude that summer seems to bring. We let our inhibitions go and get lost in the euphoria that the sun evokes.  For some, this carefree attitude can be a blessing that turns into a curse once all the "summer madness" is over. Have you ever wondered why a "summer fling" doesn't usually last? It may seem obvious...it's a fling! But, there is a deeper culprit at work. Because of the lowering of inhibitions, there are also lowered expectations, standards, and meaningful conversation that will lead to a solid relationship. If you'd like to turn your summer fling into a lasting thing...read on!

First things first: MAKE YOUR INTENTIONS KNOWN..subtly but clearly. If you want more than a few months (or hours) of interaction, you'll need to be clear that your standards haven't flown out of the window just because the temps are up and your windows are down. Approach meeting new suitors the same way you would when you're bundled up in frigid temps. Your will have more suitors because there is more skin to hypnotize them, but you'll just have to get over the thrill of heightened exposure (pun intended) and proceed with the same tact, poise, and COMMON SENSE you usually employ. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should lead in with "so when are we getting married?" I'm thinking more along the lines of once you get to know a person and feel that you want it to last beyond the summer, through in some "fall talk." While listening to a band you both like on a date..."Hey, there is this awesome festival in OCTOBER where this band and several others like them perform. Have you been? Do you think you'd like to check it out?"  If he says, "WE should check it out TOGETHER! Sounds like fun,"  you are all set for something more than a fling. However, if he says, "Huh? I couldn't hear you" or "I don't even know where I'll be in next week let alone October," he's trying to make summer memories and that's about it! RUN! 

What if the thought of being tied down during the summer makes you cringe?  Or makes your love interest cringe? There is absolutely nothing wrong with that apprehension. Date and enjoy! Just remember your love interest is dating and enjoying as well. If you want it last beyond the summer, you'll need to set yourself apart from the others and your love interest will have to do the same for you. Remain true to yourself and your character.  You will definitely shine through. Don't compete with the others by trying to be more sexy or sexual thinking that'll keep your love interest interested for the long haul. If he's meant to be yours beyond the summer, he'll be with real you!

Make your goal this summer and every season to live a full and robust life. Connections come to those who are perfectly content in their current state. You don't want to alter a happy state with a drop in romance when it could be the love of your life!

My Dream Come True

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Almost a year ago, I sat down at my computer and got lost in story that flowed so easily from my mind to the blank pages. I was obsessed with each character and wondered what they were doing when I was away from writing. I would sit and plan out what my characters would do, but by the time I got to the computer to write, they had their own plan. I remember one time, I just knew Drew would ride home with her friend after a party, yet she took off walking down the street as if to let me know that I wasn't in control of her.

Finally, after months of trying to figure out how I could get my book to the masses, my ebook is available on Amazon!  Just in time for Christmas, the holiday season, and cozy nights at home, Enigmatic Encounters: The Beginning is a witty coming of age story set on a small southern college campus. The next book in the series will be out next year, so don't panic! You will find out what happens next with Leslie, Drew, and Bruce, but you have to get this book first to find out what happens in The Beginning.

Relationship Reality Bites: 5 Sure Ways to Get Noticed

Do you feel like you get lost in the crowd? Don't worry...you are not alone.  Very often people are in crowded places and can't seem to demand any attention while others walk in and all heads turn.  We are going to fix your dilemma once and for all.  

The most important part of getting noticed is not worrying if anyone notices you. Desiring attention is like a red flag waving over your head because your confidence level is tanking and it's showing all over your face.  Genuine confidence is the key to attracting positive attention, meeting new people, and striking up conversations with strangers.  I've read books and articles that say that you should take a conversation starter with you wherever you go.  I will do you one better, if you take confidence with you wherever you go, that is a definite conversation starter. Once your confidence is at least half way to wear it needs to be, consider the following tips.

1. Move to the south or to a small town - If you live in a big northern or west coast city nine chances out of ten you will not be noticed. In southern and smaller towns, people speak to each other and are more willing to strike up conversation.  Test it out the next time you are on vacation in a southern town. If you give a little eye contact, you will receive a hearty "good morning" from a passerby.


2. Do not fear rejection - If someone doesn't speak back, who cares...you may never see them again anyway.  Dust off your pride and try again.


3. Wear a bright colored jacket, statement necklace, hat or scarf -I know I was just telling you to not worry about "conversation starters," but wearing bright colors is not about starting conversation. It is about standing out in a crowd of black, navy, and brown.  Bright colors often read as confidence when yours may be only half full.


4. Don't use volume to attract attention, use insightfulness - Have you even been a crowded room and someone is talking so loud that you can hear their entire conversation from across the room. Or, that person who's laugh is way louder than the punchline warranted is in your group. Negative attention is very easy to get. Positive attention comes from being poignant when given the opportunity to speak. Being well read and up on current events will draw people to you with a desire to learn more.


5. Use nonverbal communication like moving your hands and non-sensual touch - There is no need to be a flailing mess, but using your hands to add drama to what you are saying will help attract auditory-visual learners. Making large gestures can add depth to a story and will make you a memorable storyteller. Leaning into your audience and getting attention by subtle forearm touches will get people's attention as well.  Timing is key with touching other people. You do not want to startle or interrupt, so try your best to find the perfect time to touch someone's forearm to direct the attention your way. Then be ready to say something dazzling! "Wonderful weather we're having," will not cut it. But, saying something like "It's a good thing it's not a few degrees colder, I would have shocked you. I wonder why that is?" Now you've got a pretty good conversation started.

Confidence is the foundation. Build upon it by being int he right environment, with courage, bright colors, insightfulness, and visual or tactile accompaniment.  Enjoy your life! Don't let it just pass you by!

Eyesight

This month has been a whirlwind! So much has and hasn't happened. But, I just read a tribute to a wonderful woman of God who had to battle an illness which eventually transitioned her from this life to the next. I usually shy away from reading such things in the morning or at all, but because I'm feeling rather vulnerable today, I bit. I read about her life and how she met her husband. I read about her commitment to serving God and man. I read about her family, but it was the words of her husband that touched my heart and brought on the tears. He praised her for braving the illness with a renewed faith in God. The fact that she was ill did not change her spirit to serve. She impacted the lives of anyone she came into contact with while she should have been the one receiving the encouragement. Whenever I read how a husband praises his wife, I immediately recall Proverbs 31:28 .  Then that sinking feeling comes upon me. I wonder if I'm living an impactful life. Then my heart longs for the day that my "husband' will speak praise filled words of me for living a life well done. I don't even have a husband yet. Woe is me.  "Stop!" I tell myself, "you are looking at life with your own eyes." I must learn from the tribute about this wonderful woman of God. I must look at people and life with Jesus' eyes. So I challenge you to check your eyesight today. Are you using your eyes to judge people and situations, or are you using Jesus' gracious and loving eyes to perceive the world? I'm dedicating myself to doing the latter.

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Word Clouds: Psalm 100 NIV

The Dynamics of Relationships

While I should be editing my book, I stumble upon this video while working on my art internship project. Yes, I have a lot going on, but my brain cannot help but absorb everything at this point. I miss graduate school! (a little)



Anyway...

I thought about my own life as he described this wonderful impressionist painting by Manet. It is amazing how the dynamics of relationships between men and women have not changed much through the years despite the changes in our societal trappings.  I am very blessed to be at a ministry that is conducting a 12-week workshop on relationships this summer. I will not repeat my mistakes or my missteps because I am getting sound teaching that has affected my life already. Sunday was the first installment! My life will not look like In the Conservatory ever again.  I have had enough of that disjointed lifestyle.  The time is now for harmony built on a solid foundation of wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. Enjoy the vid and let me know what you think in the comments below, please.