Relationship Reality Bites: 5 Sure Ways to Get Noticed

Do you feel like you get lost in the crowd? Don't worry...you are not alone.  Very often people are in crowded places and can't seem to demand any attention while others walk in and all heads turn.  We are going to fix your dilemma once and for all.  

The most important part of getting noticed is not worrying if anyone notices you. Desiring attention is like a red flag waving over your head because your confidence level is tanking and it's showing all over your face.  Genuine confidence is the key to attracting positive attention, meeting new people, and striking up conversations with strangers.  I've read books and articles that say that you should take a conversation starter with you wherever you go.  I will do you one better, if you take confidence with you wherever you go, that is a definite conversation starter. Once your confidence is at least half way to wear it needs to be, consider the following tips.

1. Move to the south or to a small town - If you live in a big northern or west coast city nine chances out of ten you will not be noticed. In southern and smaller towns, people speak to each other and are more willing to strike up conversation.  Test it out the next time you are on vacation in a southern town. If you give a little eye contact, you will receive a hearty "good morning" from a passerby.


2. Do not fear rejection - If someone doesn't speak back, who cares...you may never see them again anyway.  Dust off your pride and try again.


3. Wear a bright colored jacket, statement necklace, hat or scarf -I know I was just telling you to not worry about "conversation starters," but wearing bright colors is not about starting conversation. It is about standing out in a crowd of black, navy, and brown.  Bright colors often read as confidence when yours may be only half full.


4. Don't use volume to attract attention, use insightfulness - Have you even been a crowded room and someone is talking so loud that you can hear their entire conversation from across the room. Or, that person who's laugh is way louder than the punchline warranted is in your group. Negative attention is very easy to get. Positive attention comes from being poignant when given the opportunity to speak. Being well read and up on current events will draw people to you with a desire to learn more.


5. Use nonverbal communication like moving your hands and non-sensual touch - There is no need to be a flailing mess, but using your hands to add drama to what you are saying will help attract auditory-visual learners. Making large gestures can add depth to a story and will make you a memorable storyteller. Leaning into your audience and getting attention by subtle forearm touches will get people's attention as well.  Timing is key with touching other people. You do not want to startle or interrupt, so try your best to find the perfect time to touch someone's forearm to direct the attention your way. Then be ready to say something dazzling! "Wonderful weather we're having," will not cut it. But, saying something like "It's a good thing it's not a few degrees colder, I would have shocked you. I wonder why that is?" Now you've got a pretty good conversation started.

Confidence is the foundation. Build upon it by being int he right environment, with courage, bright colors, insightfulness, and visual or tactile accompaniment.  Enjoy your life! Don't let it just pass you by!